We are not in control. That is such a simply concept, yet I often live with the assumption that I hold the keys to my own life. Being a human, I suppose it is "natural" to feel this way. And yet I know better.
It is good to be shaken every now and again. This last week has been that for me.
Timing is an interesting concept. Especially interesting is when the events that occur within a short period of time are in stark contrast to each other. This last week and a half has been one of those times with constrast. Rewind back to Friday, Sept 3rd: The start of a 4 day weekend, Janelle was coming back from Hoisington. It was a wonderful weekend of relaxing, eating good food, enjoying great weather, having great company. Life to the full.
Then came Tuesday: Janelle had found an abandoned baby squirrel that we took care of until it could go to a wild animal shelter. But it would not be, it died that morning. Ok, I can handle that. Nature, it happens. Then there was not much to do at work, we have been thin on things for me to do for about the last 2 months now.
Thursday morning came with a shock as our bengal cat Kona had knocked out a second story screen and was now missing. That was a rough day. Having to call Janelle and tell her the news was the worst. I then spent the day making phone calls to vets, animal shelters, and animal control to see if they had found him. No one had. I made flyers and put them around the local houses. I spent all day outside either walking Katee or pulling weeds. Every now and then thinking I heard a little meow. But no Kona. I finally began to understand the parables of the lost coin and the lost sheep. I simply could not just sit and do nothing.
Finally after supper, Katee and I were out on the deck and I heard a real meow. Kona came home! Kona was a bit shaken and jumpy, but seemed completely fine. Interestingly - his coming back had nothing to do with the work I had done.
Then Saturday - a great bike ride out to Swope park. Janelle and Rachel came out and ran the MTB trails while I rode them. Afterwards we decided to go out to lunch and then to Buckner to pick up my lost ATM card that was at a grocery store there. I went to park in a garage, but forgot that my bike was on the roof. Bam - broken bike rack, broken bike, scraped and dented car. Fury! But in the end, only material damage and a big headache.
The interesting thing with all this is how these events piled on top of each other. I don't know if any single one of these hardships would have been terribly notable one it's own, but the compounding spoke like a megaphone to me.
A couple of reflections in light of it all: First, it was interesting to note how quickly bad events can make me forget the good ones. I think one of the first things I said after bashing the bike off my roof was "what a terrible week!", even though the first days of last week were some of the best of the year. Second was losing Kona and my longing to find him showed me a little bit of what God's heart towards his lost people is probably like. Third, I live an incredibly comfortable life, and I'm not sure that God calls us to always be comfortable. The hardships of life give us an opportunity to grow and to be malleable, and ultimately we can choose to let God shape us from them.
